Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
