Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
