There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
