East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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