Got a toothbrush?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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