It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
