Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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