i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
