Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
