Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Damn victory sex feels great
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
