So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
