Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
