So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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