I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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