My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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