that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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