i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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