Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
