You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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