If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize