Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
