i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
