Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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