You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize