hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize