obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize