I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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