So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
What drink are we having for lunch?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize