Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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