Dual....:-)
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
