I hope mine doesn't look like that
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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