butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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