i just wanna soil my oats bro
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
