its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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