I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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