I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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