I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize