i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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