I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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