You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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