So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize