his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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