Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
