I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
