it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize