it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Operation Purity has been aborted
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
