All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
