You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
