we have officially lost it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
