i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
