there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I wish there were birth control emojis
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
