how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
