We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
