exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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