we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize