yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
