The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
