Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
