yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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